What Does the Bible Say About Sexual Intimacy in Marriage?

Bible Believing Christian
Sep 12, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Sep 12, 2025

What Does the Bible Say About Sexual Intimacy in Marriage?

Reader Advisory: This article discusses marital intimacy and is intended for mature readers, parents, and teachers. It is not graphic, but it addresses adult themes to help couples and families think biblically.

Christians often wrestle with questions about marital intimacy—what is pure, what is forbidden, and how far freedom in marriage can go. Cultural myths and silence in church settings can leave couples confused. God’s Word speaks with clarity and celebration, showing that within marriage, sexual love is a good gift, not a guilty secret.

Biblical Foundation

Song of Solomon – Holy Delight

Far from being prudish, Scripture includes an entire book rejoicing in marital passion.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2, NASB)

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” (Song of Solomon 7:10, NASB)

This poetic celebration uses rich metaphors—gardens, spices, flowing fountains—to describe marital intimacy with reverent joy.

Song of Solomon often celebrates marital intimacy with earthy, agricultural metaphors that were clear to its ancient audience but remain veiled to modern ears:

Breasts compared to twin fawns or clusters of fruit – “Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle” (Song 4:5; 7:3, NASB). The gentle fawns evoke tenderness and delight.

Navel like a rounded bowl (literally “mixing bowl”) and belly like a heap of wheat – “Your navel is like a round goblet that never lacks mixed wine; your belly is like a heap of wheat fenced about with lilies” (Song 7:2, NASB). Ancient readers would have recognized sensual, life-giving overtones.

Garden and fountain imagery – “A garden locked is my sister, my bride… A fountain of gardens, a well of living water” (Song 4:12,15, NASB). These phrases poetically suggest fertility and exclusive marital union.

Palms and clusters – “I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit stalks.’ ” (Song 7:8, NASB). A delicate yet unmistakable celebration of marital affection.

By expressing physical love through symbolic language of nature and harvest, the Song sanctifies marital passion. It speaks frankly in poetry without crossing into vulgarity, reminding readers that God Himself delights in pure, mutual joy between husband and wife.

Sexual Freedom Within Marriage

The New Testament affirms the same freedom and mutual pleasure:

“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise the wife also to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise the husband also does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:3–4, NASB)

The command is not merely about procreation but about mutual enjoyment and service. Hebrews adds:

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled.” (Hebrews 13:4, NASB)

Together these passages affirm that the marriage bed is a place of freedom, not fear, as long as the couple honors one another and avoids anything degrading or coercive.

The Myth of a “Missionary-Position Only” Rule

Some have claimed that historical church leaders limited marital intimacy to a single position for procreation. Scripture gives no such restriction. The Bible consistently celebrates intimacy as loving, mutual, and joyful, not mechanical or legalistic.

Through the centuries some have claimed that God permits only a single physical position in marriage. This idea often traces back to later cultural taboos, not to Scripture.The Bible itself never specifies a required position. Instead it consistently emphasizes mutual consent, love, and holiness.

This mutual authority means husband and wife are free to express love in ways that are pure, consensual, and honoring to one another, without the constraints of later cultural rules.

Many Christian couples also ask about oral intimacy within marriage. While the Bible does not mention this practice by name, its silence is significant: it neither prescribes nor forbids specific marital acts, but instead sets clear boundaries—faithfulness, mutual agreement, and purity of heart. As long as the act is:

Within marriage
Truly consensual
Free of coercion, exploitation, or impurity

—it remains inside the freedom described by “the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4, NASB).

The key is not a list of approved techniques but the spirit of love, mutual respect, and holiness that reflects Christ’s self-giving love for the Church.

Guarding Against Fornication

While marriage is a space of freedom, sexual activity outside marriage is always condemned.

“This is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3, NASB)

The Greek term πορνεία (porneia) covers all sexual activity outside the one-flesh covenant of marriage.

Theological Reflection

God designed marital intimacy to mirror His covenant love—exclusive, faithful, and life-giving. Shame entered through sin (Genesis 3), not through God’s design. Within marriage, consent, mutuality, and love govern intimacy, not a checklist of permitted or forbidden acts.

Connection to Christ – Covenant and Joy

Marriage points to Christ’s relationship with the Church:

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31–32, NASB)

As Christ loves the Church sacrificially, spouses are to love each other with self-giving devotion, including in physical union.

Christ-Centered Conclusion

The Bible rejects both extremes—legalistic restriction and anything-goes immorality. Instead it paints a picture of holy, joyful, mutually honoring intimacy for husband and wife. Far from being silent or shaming, Scripture blesses marital passion while calling all sexual activity outside of marriage fornication and sin.