Divorce & Remarriage: What Does the Bible Really Say?

Divorce & Remarriage: What Does the Bible Really Say?

Few topics stir as much pain and confusion in the church as divorce and remarriage. Some see divorce as an unforgivable sin; others treat marriage vows as disposable. But what does the Bible actually teach? What were the teachings of Jesus, Paul, and the early Church? And most importantly, how does grace apply to real-life situations?

Let’s walk through the relevant Scriptures, cultural context, and Greek terminology to uncover what God really says about marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

The Old Testament Context: Divorce Was Regulated, Not Encouraged

God’s design for marriage was always one man and one woman in covenant until death. But because of human sin, divorce was regulated under Mosaic Law.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 describes a process where a man gives his wife a certificate of divorce (סֵפֶר כְּרִיתֻת, sefer keritut) if she finds “no favor in his eyes,” because of some indecency. This is not a command to divorce, but a regulation to protect the woman—ensuring her release and allowing her to remarry.

God makes His heart clear through the prophet Malachi:

“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty.” (Malachi 2:16)

God doesn’t hate divorced people. He hates divorce because it tears apart what He joined together.

When Divorce Was Commanded: Ezra and Nehemiah

One of the most jarring moments in the Old Testament is found in the post-exilic books of Ezra and Nehemiah, where divorce is actually commanded. After returning from Babylonian exile, the people of Israel were discovered to have intermarried with pagan nations—an act explicitly forbidden in the Law (Deuteronomy 7:3-4). The issue was not ethnic, but theological. These marriages represented a direct compromise with idolatry and posed a threat to the newly reestablished covenant identity of the nation.

Ezra was devastated. He tore his clothes, fasted, and prayed in deep grief over the people’s unfaithfulness (Ezra 9). The solution, though drastic, was clear: “Now let us make a covenant with our God to divorce all these foreign wives and to send them away with their children…” (Ezra 10:3). The people agreed, and the divorces were carried out in Ezra 10 and also reflected in Nehemiah 13:23–27, where Nehemiah rebukes those who had again fallen into the same sin.

But this is not a prescription for all time—it is descriptive of a specific moment in redemptive history. Israel was in a fragile place, trying to rebuild their national and spiritual identity after judgment and exile. These divorces were not an endorsement of casual separation or an excuse to discard difficult marriages; they were an extreme corrective to a covenantal breach with deep spiritual consequences.

This moment in history demonstrates that while God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), He hates idolatry and covenant betrayal even more. It also underscores that marriage is never merely private—it is part of the broader covenantal life of God’s people. This story should not be used to justify modern divorces for personal dissatisfaction or hardship, but rather as a sobering example of how seriously God treats both marriage and holiness.

Jesus’ Teaching: Divorce Permitted for Porneia

In Matthew 19:3–9, Jesus is tested by the Pharisees on the legality of divorce:

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”

Jesus responds by returning to Genesis 2:24—God’s original intent.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

But then He gives one exception:

“Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (πορνεία, porneia), and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9)

The Greek word πορνεία (porneia) refers to sexual immorality, a broad term that includes adultery but also incest, prostitution, and fornication. It differs from μοιχεία (moicheia)—which refers specifically to adultery by a married person. The usage of porneia opens the door for biblical divorce in cases where the marriage covenant is sexually violated.

Important: Jesus is not commanding divorce in these cases—He is permitting it.

Paul’s Teaching: Abandonment Is a Biblical Grounds for Divorce

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul expands the discussion to believers living in complex, real-world situations. Here, the early church in Corinth faced unequal marriages: one spouse had come to faith, the other had not.

In 1 Corinthians 7:12, Paul acknowledges he has no direct command from the Lord on a specific matter, but he still offers instruction as one “to whom the Lord in his mercy has given wisdom.” Later, in verse 40, he affirms that he, too, has the Spirit of God—reminding us that apostolic guidance, even when not quoting Jesus directly, still carries Spirit-filled authority.

Paul offers this principle:

“But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not bound (δέδεται, dedetai).” (1 Corinthians 7:15)

The Greek verb δέδεται (dedetai, “bound”) is the perfect passive of δέω—to bind, tie, or fasten. The implication is covenantal obligation. Paul’s use of “not bound” means the believing spouse is freed from the marriage when abandoned by an unbelieving partner.

This is often referred to as the Pauline Privilege—the right to remarry after abandonment.

Greek Word Study: Bound and Loosed

Paul’s language in 1 Corinthians 7 is very intentional:

• 1 Corinthians 7:27–28 – “Are you bound (δέδεσαι, dedesai) to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you loosed (λέλυσαι, lelusai) from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned.”

This verse makes it crystal clear that someone “loosed” from a marriage is free to remarry without sin.

• δέδεσαι – "bound" (same root as dedetai earlier)

• λέλυσαι – "loosed," from λύω meaning to release, untie, dissolve

The implication? There is biblical divorce and there is unbiblical divorce. If your divorce is biblical—either due to porneia or abandonment—then remarriage is not sin.

Historical Context: Jewish Divorce Certificates

Jesus and Paul both lived in a world where divorce certificates were a formal reality. The Jewish “Get” (גט) was a written bill of divorce, still used today in Jewish law. In the first century, these documents were granted to the wife to formally release her, allowing her to remarry.

Jesus’ restriction in Matthew 5:31–32 is a reaction to the abuse of this practice. Rabbis like Hillel taught that a man could divorce his wife for virtually any reason—even burning dinner. Jesus pushed back, tightening the meaning and protecting women from unjust treatment.

What About Abused or Unsafe Marriages?

While not directly mentioned in Scripture, abuse and severe harm fall under the umbrella of abandonment and violation of covenant.

A man who beats his wife has already forsaken the marriage covenant. In such cases, a pastor or elder board should be involved, prioritizing safety and counseling. Abuse is not a gray area—it’s sin. And a Christian who refuses to repent and continues in such behavior may be treated as an unbeliever (Matthew 18:17), which leads us back to 1 Corinthians 7:15.

Remarriage: What Is Permissible?

The Bible does not forbid remarriage in all circumstances. In fact, Romans 7:2–3 says:

“A married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry someone else.”

The same principle applies when the covenant is biblically dissolved through sexual immorality or abandonment.

Remarriage in these cases is not adultery—it’s restoration.

Grace, Not Shame

There are many divorced and remarried people who feel forever condemned, even if their situation was not entirely within their control. This should not be. The church must be clear:

• Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.

• Jesus’ blood is sufficient for all sin—including relational failure.

• Repentance, reconciliation, and walking in truth are the goal.

The point of Scripture is not to create a scarlet letter, but to uphold the value of covenant and the power of grace when things go wrong.

Conclusion: A Covenant Worth Upholding

Marriage is serious. Divorce is tragic. But Scripture is not silent—and it’s not cruel.

There are biblical grounds for divorce when the covenant is truly broken. There is freedom to remarry in such cases. And there is always hope and healing in Christ, even for those who didn’t do it right the first time.

Truth and grace—together—paint a better picture than condemnation ever could.